Things That I Never Should Have Done

There are many things that I regret doing. But there are two mistakes I've done in particular that I regret doing the most.

• Confiding my personal thought to her

Since I'm young, I keep all my personal feelings and thought to myself. Never have I tell them to anyone, including my family. This year while I was in Melbourne, I met a girl, X. She is a person that, well I can say, very caring. She made me feel that I can trust and count on her. She always ask for my inner feelings:" What are you thinking? Tell me how you feel." Of course, I refuse to tell her at first. But after awhile, I gave in. I started to tell her, but not everything, only those that I thought it's not that important.

When I do that, I would expect X to understand and be there for me whenever I need someone to talk to. Well, at first she did. But as time passes, I can feel that there is a gap between us. She is no more the person that listens. She changed? She got fed up of it? These are the questions that I thought could explain it. She disappoints me. Maybe I expected too much from a regular person, but those are the conditions that I've set, if they want to know my inner feelings. And I expect them to honor it.

Now, I'm suffering. I've grown so used to confiding to her whenever I'm in a bad mood. It makes me suffer not being able to tell someone about those things anymore. I guess I would have to get use to keeping those feelings to myself from now on. I'm going to change myself back to the way I was before knowing her.

• Studying with a group of friends in the computer laboratory

I've always prefer to study alone with nothing but a table, a chair and drinking water, because it makes me concentrate. The two down side of studying in the computer laboratory are computers and people. Whenever there is computer around, I would surf the net, Facebook, read news and watch YouTube. The second down side, people. You see, when I'm studying, I want a total silence in the room. No music, no chats. So when there are people in the room, there would be conversations and I cannot make myself to stop listening to their conversations. All these make me not able to concentrate.

Despite knowing it, I still continue going there every single day. I thought I can cope with it, but my results showed otherwise. I did not do well in this semester. There are other reasons that contribute to my poor results, but in my point of view, this is the main factor.

I hope that I would not repeat these two mistake I've done this year. Hopefully next year would be a better year for me.

Over and out.